This has always been a hard question for me. I am a self proclaimed introvert and as such, I do not like to be seen. I would love to just fade into the background and just live my life on the fringe with next to no human interaction, however this is just not an option. I have always struggled with first impressions because I am either so quiet people think I don’t have a real personality, or I try too hard and say too much and then never want to talk again. I don’t have a middle ground.
If I could choose, I would want to exude confidence. I would want people to see me and go, “Damn that girl really knows what she is talking about” and feel confident in my decisions and the things that I say.
In my life now, I open my mouth to speak and think, “Oh my God what was that? Why did I say that?!” Most of the time I don’t know what’s going to come out of my mouth and am just as surprised as everyone else. This typically does not give me the air of confidence I’d like to have. I also struggle with stringing sentences together under pressure. If someone asks me a deep, thought provoking question in front of multiple people, good luck getting a coherent smart sounding sentence out of me. My brain just melts into a puddle.
This isn’t to say that I do not feel confident. Internally, I feel secure and self assured and confident in myself but these traits are not something that I display outwardly easily. My awkward introvertedness just takes over and overrides everything else.
It’s a good thing I’m funny!
Every Book and Cranny 